Someday I’ll be happy when I lose the weight.
Someday I’ll be happy when I have a better job.
Someday I’ll be happy when I can afford the things I want.
Someday I’ll be happy when this baby sleeps through the night.
Someday I’ll be happy when I get the love I need.
Someday I’ll be happy when I able to pursue my passion.
This absolutely breaks my heart.
When we wait for someday to be happy, life passes us by.
Couples are notorious for putting their happiness on hold. I just read a startling statistic from the Gottman Institute (the foremost relationship researchers and counseling experts): the average couple will wrestle with an issue for six years before getting help.
SIX YEARS!! Meanwhile, as the couple waits until someday to address their issues, the issues they are facing do not magically disappear. Quite the opposite. Couples do a lot of damage to each other and their relationship while waiting for someday to arrive.
If someday is your plan, I’ve got some bad news for you.
Someday does not exist.
Someday is a dangerous lie we tell ourselves.
Someday gives us the illusion that we are actually going to do something but we don’t.
Someday keeps us stuck because it shifts our attention away from the one day that really matters: TODAY
Today is the day that we can work towards our goals all the while making the most of what it already is.
Each day where you choose “someday” over “today” is another day where you deny yourself the opportunity to work toward the happiness you desire.
The truth is that happiness does not just come to us when someday arrives.
Happiness is a skill.
Happiness is no different than playing an instrument or speaking a foreign language. Just like we cannot magically choose to become an expert violinist or fluent in French without practice, happiness doesn’t magically happen to us without practice either.
Similar to any other skill, happiness takes some serious effort and practice to master. It takes a lot of strength, determination and courage for a person to face reality and make the changes necessary to be happy–it would be much easier to wait for someday while actually doing nothing but hoping for a different outcome.
So how do we do it?
1. Define: What have you been putting off until someday?
2. Take stock: Where are you now? What is getting in the way? (Hint: it is probably some sort of fear)
3. Find a teacher: If you don’t have the skills or knowledge you need to take action, get help. You don’t have to figure everything out for yourself.
4. Take action: What is the next step you can take? Even if it is a baby-step, do it!
5. Repeat: Consistent progress comes from consistent action.
If you’re currently saying “someday” to something that matters to you, (like your health, a strong and loving relationship, your passion) it’s time to stop.
I know life gets in the way and schedules are crazy, but we have to focus on the things that truly matter and quit putting things off.
If you have a reason (excuse) why you have to wait until someday, I’m going to challenge you right now: Be real with yourself. There is probably something that you can do today to get you closer to what you want. It could be the smallest baby step in the world, but a baby step is better than no step at all.