Relationships in the Era of COVID-19
I have a confession to make. Even though I am considered a relationship expert, for the first time in a really long time, I am feeling socially anxious. I’m sure you can relate to the feeling too. We are navigating an entirely new way of interacting with the people around us, and it’s making everyone […]
My Best Parenting Advice
In a recent interview, I was asked for the best parenting advice I have to offer. My usual response is “Never take too much credit and never take too much blame.” By this, I mean that your child is his or her own person. Though we do our best to guide and shape our children, […]
Understanding Meta-Emotion
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw “We don’t communicate,” is the #1 reason that couples seek help. Usually, each partner blames the other for not “getting it”. Blaming someone else for your own dissatisfaction is a roadblock in general. However, when it comes […]
Embracing the Awkwardness
A childhood friend recently posted a photo on Facebook of our “girl squad” from middle school. As I looked at the expression on my face, it was clear how unsure I felt at the time. I had a visceral memory of how uncomfortable it was to trying to join this group of girls who already […]
Has your Mental Load Become Too Heavy?
Don’t you love it when a buzzword perfectly describes your experience! The most recent buzzword that seems to have struck a collective nerve is “mental load.” Mental load refers to all the mental work–the organizing, preparation, and planning etc.–that you do to manage your life, your household and your kids. Mental load is real and […]
Are You Stuck In Your Own Virtual Reality?
When I was a teen, my mom used to say to me, “Melissa, you may be wrong but you’re never in doubt.” I never really understood what that meant but I knew she was saying she’d had enough and I should stop trying to convince her that I was right–about everything. Like most kids, […]
What Do Potholes Have to Do with Your Relationship?
It’s always around this time of year that the winter blues start setting in. It’s dark and cold and most of us just want to hibernate. When we do go out we have to deal with the damage the cold weather leaves behind: potholes. Potholes turn a simple ride to work into a stressful obstacle […]
The #1 Question That Brings People to Therapy
Three months ago, Suzanne asked the question that brings most people to counseling: “Is there hope?” She wanted to know if there was hope for her marriage. She and her husband, Jake, just couldn’t see eye to eye anymore. There was a growing sense of disconnection and they didn’t know how to bridge the gap. With […]
When the Waiting Isn’t the Hardest Part
I could see the pain on Gwen’s face before she even spoke. “My fucking father died,” was all she could say before she burst into tears. I have been working with Gwen for a long time so I know why she put it that way. You see, Gwen had a very difficult relationship with her […]
It Is Time to Step It Up a Notch!
For years, I have recommended a gratitude practice to improve your mood and well-being. It is tool train your mind to focus on the positive, to see the beauty in simple things, to know that every day is a gift. As I said in my last post, a gratitude practice can also help manage feelings […]
